It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I want to have your abortion
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
