He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
