..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
