We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
