So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
