why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
