so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
