Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
