oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
