I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
