do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
