By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
