Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
