We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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