I'm drive I can fine osifer
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
