ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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