so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
