if i can run in heels then i can drive
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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