**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
