the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
