So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
