How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
