Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
