I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
