We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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