I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
