so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
