For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
