i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
