Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
