I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
