Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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