your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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