I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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