these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
