he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Randomize
