Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
