It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
