According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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