it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Randomize