Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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