You really coming over, don't trick.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
