Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize