I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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