I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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