my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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