no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
