there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize