Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
