Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
