no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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